NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
