Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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