i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
