I cannot find my penis.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
