just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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