If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
be right there i have to get my cape
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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