i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
