After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
