is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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