She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
