why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
