he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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