what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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