I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
