We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So many bounce houses so little time
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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