i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
