I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
