New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
