I'm really into asian looking animals
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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