I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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