i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
