so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
