You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
