i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
