He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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