So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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