dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
