Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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