in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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