I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
