i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
