My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
