Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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