Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
