Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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