Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
