Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize