He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
