This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
