Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think my moral compass just broke
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
