We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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