ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
this is an emotional support booty call
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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