he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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