I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
