Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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