guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
