While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
