Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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