is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize