she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
