Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
