Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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